Pumpkin Bliss & Tooth Aches

So, my tooth hurts.
It's hurt for a while, but now it hurts bad.
I've been waiting a very long time to get it fixed due to finances.
But now it seems the waiting has made it worse and now I'm pretty bad off in the mouth department.

I need to escape to my happy place.
I envision how happy I'll be when this is all over.
When my teeth are finally fixed.

Follow me to my Happy place:

I think about how happy I'll be when I'm playing with my new baby;
I'm in my new home;
I'm working;
Making money;
Making dinner;
Helping with homework;
Enjoying the company of my husband and sons.

I think about the peaceful bubble baths I'll take...
With my music on...
And my candles burning...
The sweet smell of pumpkin pie in the air...
Ahh...






(The world's best smelling pumpkin candle and I want one.)

Last night, while wrestling around with my sweetie, I got hurt. I'll admit, I totally had it coming. Joe was leaning over me shirtless grabbing for the remote and I bit him in the ribs. (I'd say more of a nibble than a bite, but you'd have to ask him.)

He said, "sweetie, don't bite me or I'll crush you."

I weighed the consequences and made the decision that biting him would result in hilarity. I decided it was worth it. Boy, did I decide wrong.

Now I want to preface this with, Joe would never ever try to hurt me on purpose. But here's what happened...

I bit into Joe's ribs while making my rabid monster noises. He grabbed me by the jaw, squeezed my jaw and put all of his weight on me.

Now, at any other time in my life, this would not have been such a terrifyingly painful experience. However, as I mentioned earlier, I have a tooth infection and his grabbing it and squeezing it made me cry like a little girl. Literally, I don't remember crying like that since I was little, 7 or 8 maybe.

The best part is I know it's all my fault. I instigated it and got what I deserved. Serves me right. :)

I wont mess with the Joe unless I can take what the Joe serves up.

Pregnancy Pain Update

The pain I'm experiencing is either gas, which I suspected, or round ligament pain. Joe recommends that I eat more fiber. He thinks it's constipation gas and says I don't go enough. Pregnancy is gross. I've had pretty diabolical gas for the last couple of days. Thankfully, Joe doesn't seem to mind the smell. He actually seems to enjoy it, which is weird.

Evan's measuring bigger than 30 weeks so I get another ultrasound. His head is snugly nestled under my left set of ribs so I'm going to have Joe try to turn him into the proper position. It's very disturbing to feel the baby kick low into your body. Very unnatural.

Something occurred to me this morning. What happens to Trevor if I die in surgery? I need to make a legal document saying I do not want him with my mother. I'd like it best if Joe and Lance collaboratively raise Trevor. Joe will eventually get remarried, then Trevor will have a mother. But until then, I think Paula and John have a more structured environment for Trevor than anyone in my family, (besides Scott) and I think it would be best if Trevor lives with his brother. I should discuss this with them before it's too late, 63 days until Evan's here. :)

Mama Drama

♫ "Let the rain fall down
everywhere around you
give into it now
let the day surround you
you don't need a reason
let the rain go on and on..."



Last night my mother called around 9:30 pm. I always say, a phone call after 9:00 pm is never good. This was no exception.

At first she sounded defeated and lonely. I have sympathy enough for her to at least hear her out. She said, "I'm off work next weekend, Will you bring Trevor to come see me?" I told her that I could not commit to it tonight, though I would try.

I was really considering meeting with mom and taking Trevor up to see her; when she said in a nasty voice, "We have some things we need to get straight..."

Wait, what? That sounded like angry drunk talk. I said, "Excuse me?" She said, "Yeah, I have every right to through you and Joe's whole family in jail for kidnapping!"

Then she goes on to say,

..."You should never have put him into a foster home..."
..."You sold Trevor to Joe's mom and dad so you could get a house..."
..."They get over a thousand dollars a month for him living there..."
..."You took him away from his family and gave him to people who don't love him..."
..."You never even see him..."
..."You're a terrible mother, you can't be around him for ten minutes without screaming at him..."
..."I'm going to have you arrested..."
..."I have friends who are cops..."
..."I know people..."
..."I'll see you in court..."
..."Does Joe even know you have a history of violence?..."

I told her I still stand firm in my decision to take Trevor. I am not on drugs or alcohol, I do not want them in my life. I do not want them in Trevor's life. I'm not willing to fight with her; I do have sympathy for her in that she must be lonely, but that does not give a right to hurt me or Trevor. I told her not to call unless she's sober.