Doctor-Voodoo-Magic

Doctor asked me how I am today.

I told the doctor, "I feel like at any moment, I'm going to break down and cry." I told her that I haven't felt like myself in the last 48 hours. I let her know that there is no reason for it, everything is fine in my life, I just feel kinda down in the dumps. I'm sure it's just hormones.

I hate this part. This is when she sits down across from me with a deep look of concern and asks,
"Do you feel like hurting yourself or someone else?"
"Do you have any other symptoms or signs of depression?"
"Did you experience postpartum with you last child?"
"Are you having any other troubling thoughts?"
"Like suicide?"

I had to say, "I actually feel fine. It's OK. I don't want to talk about it."

Why do doctors like to diagnose every patient as being clinically depressed? I'm not falling for your doctor-voodoo-magic. I'm not depressed, I know I'm not. I'm not going to let you trick me into having my head examined.

The last time I went in to see a head shrink, I got a prescription for Ritalin, found out I have a drinking problem, eating disorder, anxiety, and... oh yeah, I was diagnosed Bi-Fucking-Polar! (The only ones I agree with is the ADD and the ED. Long story)

But I know I've never been "depressed" a day in my life. Actually, the anger I feel towards the entire psychological / drug industry perks me up and lets me know, I'm definitely not depressed.

I'm hormonal. I've got the baby blues. The End.

There's Something Wrong With Me

I feel like at any moment, I'm going to break down and cry. I don't even have anything to cry about.

It's probably my hormones. It's a good thing Joe's not here, having to deal with me.

Whole Foods is open in Roseville. They're giving away a free cup of coffee everyday this month.

I'm going to need some coffee. I have a lot of stuff to do today. I better get down there.

California, I Don't Even Know You Anymore

• I can't believe Prop 8 won. (OMG! WTF?) How do you take rights away? It's never happened before. Never in America's history have we amended the constitution to strip people of their rights. Unbelievable.
  

• I can't believe you idiots passed the Chicken's Rights Bill, (Prop 2) California seems to care more about how we treat food than how we treat people. Of all the stupid bills, this was the most outrageous. Thanks California, now we have to pay $4.00 for eggs.

• Prop 10 didn't pass? Seriously? Hmmm, I thought California wanted to have clean alternative fuels for cars + solar and wind power plants? I guess not. Dumb asses.

• Prop 5 - Sentencing Guidelines for non violent drug offenders was a brilliant idea. You guys crapped all over it. Let's hope none of your family members become addicted to drugs. We would have been able to treat them, but fuck 'em, send them to prison. Ridiculous!
  

California, I hate you so much right now.

Things I Look Forward To

I have so many things I want to do once this baby is born. Last night, in my sleep, I woke up in pain every time I needed to roll over to the other side. I want my body back. I want my normal life back.
This is a list of things I'm looking forward to after Evan's birth:

• Losing weight. I like to be around 115 pounds. I think I look good when my ribs are well defined and my cheek bones are pronounced.

• Being able to eat or drink what ever I want. If I want coffee, I get coffee. If I want wine, I get wine.

• Going for walks with Evan and Trevor. Maybe getting a dog and taking him with us.
  

• Getting my teeth fixed. I'm getting myself used to the idea I'm going to look funny for a little while, but once they're fixed, I'll be so happy.

• Getting a job and making some friends.

• Last but not least, Sex. Gonna have lots of sex :)
  

I Hate The World Today

Maybe I'm just mad because I got bad news from the dentist, but I'm angry inside today. There are a couple of things that piss me off and I want to get them off my chest.

1. I hate when people switch lanes without turning on their blinkers. They do this weaving in and out between cars thing, It's dangerous; who taught you how to drive? You do not own the road!
   
2. I hate speeders! Who in the hell do you think you are? You could kill me or my kids, I hate you!
   
3. I hate the Yes on 8 protesters. I believe in god, but you make me want to never step foot in a church again.
   
4. I hate when people are late. The only excuse for tardiness is a car accident, that's it.
   
5. I hate flaky people. If you say you're going to be there, be there. It's easy.
   

Halloween Photos