The Dirty Side of Motherhood

Sure, everybody knows you get stretch marks and extra flab, but there's a bunch of other side effects to having a baby that no body tells you about. Some I've come to realize:

Big Blue Boob Veins - The very prominent blue veins across my chest are horrifying. But I hear the bigger and bluer the veins, the better it is for baby. The veins get darker because your blood is circulating for lactation. Knowing that doesn't make them any less scary.

Dry Vagina - The hormonal changes that effect your sex drive aren't all mood and body image related; The hormonal changes also cause a dry vagina. Even if you do manage to get in the mood, doing the deed is uncomfortable to say the least.

Tooth Loss - The old wives tale "for every child the mother loses a tooth" has some validity. Pregnancy can make women prone to gingivitis. Repeated pregnancies are likely to result in more frequent outbreaks of gingivitis that may lead to tooth loss. My own teeth suffered a lot this last pregnancy, having had many a tooth ache and a couple extractions.

Maybe there's a good reason why nobody tells you about these things. There'd be a lot less babies in the world.

Doctor-Voodoo-Magic

Doctor asked me how I am today.

I told the doctor, "I feel like at any moment, I'm going to break down and cry." I told her that I haven't felt like myself in the last 48 hours. I let her know that there is no reason for it, everything is fine in my life, I just feel kinda down in the dumps. I'm sure it's just hormones.

I hate this part. This is when she sits down across from me with a deep look of concern and asks,
"Do you feel like hurting yourself or someone else?"
"Do you have any other symptoms or signs of depression?"
"Did you experience postpartum with you last child?"
"Are you having any other troubling thoughts?"
"Like suicide?"

I had to say, "I actually feel fine. It's OK. I don't want to talk about it."

Why do doctors like to diagnose every patient as being clinically depressed? I'm not falling for your doctor-voodoo-magic. I'm not depressed, I know I'm not. I'm not going to let you trick me into having my head examined.

The last time I went in to see a head shrink, I got a prescription for Ritalin, found out I have a drinking problem, eating disorder, anxiety, and... oh yeah, I was diagnosed Bi-Fucking-Polar! (The only ones I agree with is the ADD and the ED. Long story)

But I know I've never been "depressed" a day in my life. Actually, the anger I feel towards the entire psychological / drug industry perks me up and lets me know, I'm definitely not depressed.

I'm hormonal. I've got the baby blues. The End.

There's Something Wrong With Me

I feel like at any moment, I'm going to break down and cry. I don't even have anything to cry about.

It's probably my hormones. It's a good thing Joe's not here, having to deal with me.

Whole Foods is open in Roseville. They're giving away a free cup of coffee everyday this month.

I'm going to need some coffee. I have a lot of stuff to do today. I better get down there.

Update: Twin Babies

This just in: Not twins!
One very healthy baby boy!
I'm relieved and disappointed at the same time.
It's a strange feeling.

I got to see some more of what Evan looks like, even in utero he's very handsome. I'm happy he's only one baby. This way I can give him all the love and attention he needs. I was really hoping they would move my due date up a week. I'm tired of being pregnant.

Twin Babies

I'm a little nervous.
I'm a little excited.
We'll find out in an hour and a half!
Other boy names I like: (just in case)
Oliver
Travis
Ian
Eli

Evan and ???

So Evan looks like twins again.
He even sounds like twins, the doctor says.
I have another ultrasound on Monday.
Joe says it would be awesome if we had twins.
I'm slightly scared at the thought.

If it is twins. I think I like the name Reid for a boy, I doubt it's a girl. Actually, I doubt it's twins at all. I think my doctor likes messing with me. I bet it's just one big baby boy inside.

We signed the papers on the house last night and wrote the first check to the contractor for the excavating. My dad, bless his heart, will do the electrical. We're on track for late November/Early December. :)

Strange thing... The lady who's selling us our house confided in me that she has a yeast infection. Is that the type of thing you share with people or does this officially make her and I friends?

Pregnancy Pain Update

The pain I'm experiencing is either gas, which I suspected, or round ligament pain. Joe recommends that I eat more fiber. He thinks it's constipation gas and says I don't go enough. Pregnancy is gross. I've had pretty diabolical gas for the last couple of days. Thankfully, Joe doesn't seem to mind the smell. He actually seems to enjoy it, which is weird.

Evan's measuring bigger than 30 weeks so I get another ultrasound. His head is snugly nestled under my left set of ribs so I'm going to have Joe try to turn him into the proper position. It's very disturbing to feel the baby kick low into your body. Very unnatural.

Something occurred to me this morning. What happens to Trevor if I die in surgery? I need to make a legal document saying I do not want him with my mother. I'd like it best if Joe and Lance collaboratively raise Trevor. Joe will eventually get remarried, then Trevor will have a mother. But until then, I think Paula and John have a more structured environment for Trevor than anyone in my family, (besides Scott) and I think it would be best if Trevor lives with his brother. I should discuss this with them before it's too late, 63 days until Evan's here. :)

Evan's Birthday

I signed off on my cesarean yesterday at the doctors. It's official, Evan will be born November 28th!

Our House & Our Babies

"I'll eat my candy
With the pork and beans
Excuse my manners
If I make a scene"
~Weezer


I was so upset last night at the possibility of us not getting our house. Joe said, "Bad stuff doesn't happen to me. You're rolling with the big dogs now..."
That made me laugh.

Then a while later he said, "feel better now?" I didn't. He said, "Don't worry..." as he looked me in the eye, "all we need is each other, and our babies."
AWE! Melt my heart, why don't you! That was so sweet and it's true. That is all we really need. I feel better now.

What exactly is the problem that I'm so worried about? The contractor we're working with wants an extra $20,000 for work we thought would be much less. It's crazy and ridiculous actually, $14,000 for excavating? $6,000 for septic? WTF? Are you serious? They're serious.

What's worse, I asked for the list of things that need to be done to the property so that I could get competing bids from other contractors. I paid $250 for the guy to come out and survey the land, right? No, they said they will not assist me in hiring competitors. They even went as far as to hide pertinent information in the docs we're supposed to sign once they "found out" I was shopping bids.

If we don't start construction soon, we wont be able to move into our home until god-knows-when. Spring probably. Luckily, a very kind neighbor and friend of the Christopher family opened up an apartment over her barn for us. That's a relief. At least we'll have somewhere to stay temporarily.


In other news, my pregnant belly is bigger and better than ever. I get aches and pains here and there, but this morning, I pulled a muscle putting on my underwear. That's pretty pathetic. Actually, what's pathetic will be when my belly gets in the way of me putting on my own shoes. I see that happening by next month.

I wonder, why do I still have heartburn? I only ate spicy turkey chili, a bean burrito, a blueberry scone and a big fat brownie for dinner last night. I'm being sarcastic. I know exactly why I have heartburn... I've been infected with a government sponsored bioengineering experiment of which I will give birth to a rapidly aging baby, of course.

Or did I see that on TV?

Oh Baby!

Evan will be here earlier than I had expected.

I am electing to have a cesarean. My reason? I found out there is a very small possibility I could rupture my uterus when pushing. It is a very small chance, but if it did happen, It would be catastrophic. So I'm not going to risk it.

Evan will be here on November 28th! (The day after Thanksgiving)

Heavy Babies & Sugar Plum Fairies

♫ "When I wake in the morning love..
And the sunlight hurts my eyes..
And something without warning love..
Bears heavy on my mind.."


This baby's starting to weigh me down. I read he weighs over 2 pounds, though it feels like 10.
I go to sleep early, wake up late. Eat a lot. Life is good. (one would think)
I'm tired all the time. I'm tired of being tired. :( Hurry up and finish cooking baby, I'm ready for you. :)

On a cute note, Trevor is going to start Karate next week! I'm so excited for him. He can do Karate or Gymnastics. Joe, (who I trust to make the manly decisions) says gymnastics is girlie. He says, "what if Trevor found out he's really good at gymnastics and starts prancing around the house like a sugar plum fairy?"

What would I do without Joe? Trevor's so lucky to have him, too.

I love how Joe kisses me every morning before work! I remember this morning it startled me, but I was so excited once I woke up enough to see it was my honey.